Lets face it, this summer has been a bit rubbish.  Over here in Blighty we had about two hours of sun and every single person ran outside, stripped off, fought for a patch of grass and sunbathed.  That was in May  (yes, May!)

Since then we've been royally rained on and any traces of tan have vanished and we are all looking horribly pale. But, there is hope! We can fake it! Oh yes, bring out your bottles of fake tan baby, slap it all over and then swan into your local bar with the "Ilve just come back from the Carribean".  Here are three favourites:

St Tropez
This is probably The Daddy of fake tans.  You need to plan for this as it's an overnight job and messy, but the results are lovely.  The colour is lovely, probably one of the most natural as they add a green dye to the mix to take out the bright orange look. Note: when you go to bed (looking like a mud monster), put old towels on your sheets or they'll be tanned too.

Lancome Flash Bronzer
My favourite! I use the mousse which is tinted so you don't miss any places. It's very easy to apply and pretty instant.  Just remember to really rub this in like your life depends upon it and then some!  This way you'll avoid any streaks.

Fake Bake
A friend of mine swears by this product. It gives a glorious colour which is deeper than most so it gives a convincing holiday look.  It's easy to apply and again, is pretty quick.

Handy hints
If you have time, exfoliate your body beforehand. For a quick and easy home-made scrub, you can use soap and salt (yes, you really can!). Just be careful over any cuts or abrasions Moisturise your feet, knees and elbows. The skin is way drier here and can end up a lot darker otherwise Feet can get a "tide mark". Scrub it off with a pumice stone Scrub your hands when you've finished.

And now, to finish off, my latest dating disaster!  Yes, I've had another one.  I met a chap for a drink and the conversation was just dreadful. We had nothing in common but I desperately tried hard to string something out. Out of desperation, I asked him which wine we were drinking.  He replied: "I dunno, it was the cheapest on the menu."  I never saw him again.

And on that note, always tell your pals you love them and be happy!