I've been thinking about kissing lately. The air is warmer and all that kind of palaver jumps into your mind rather than *OHMIGOD, I'm so cold, surely I will be dead in 10 minutes". No, it's more along the lines of the good, the bad and the downright flipping dreadful (the ones that make your private parts pucker). 

I've been in a situation lately which triggered me to soul search and dip into the not so frequently visited regions of my being. I met a chap recently who kindly asked me out on a date. He seemed decent, he certainly hadn't been hit by the ugly stick and, as luck would have it, was a real bona fide billionaire. Needless to say, I was utterly delighted. The first date we met up and I have to admit, I was a bit disturbed by his constant gaze of adoring love but I hung out for three dates before deciding if it was marriage or bust, but to be honest, I was in constant doubt. And then on the third date he (finally) kissed me. I had a hunch it would be horrid and guess what, I was right. It was just vile. So:

Game over
See ya
Arrivaderci
Siyanara
Byeeeeeeeee!

A few days later I rang to finish the whole thing and that, thank goodness, was that.  My friends of course think I'm completely insane (one even asked if I could get hypnosis to cure my affliction). Anyway, the reassuring thing for me is that for a long time (about 20 years) I've been worried I am a complete Gold Digger. Now, I know I'm not. Thank you Rich Freaky man. I will pray for your soul forever more.

And so does a relationship boil down to how wonderful/abysmal a kiss is? Could you go out with someone that you just detest kissing even if everything else were perfect?  Surely not? (At this point I have to mention that I briefly saw a gentleman last summer - when he kissed me, it was so wonderful that time stood still. Apart from that, he was a complete loser but he did get more time than otherwise deserved. But that is another story). I have met the loveliest chaps but if that chemistry ain't there, neither is the love. And remember, honesty truly is the best policy, even if you have to sacrifice the odd Ferrari.

And now three very dull facts:

1. My step-sis-in-law told me recently her first kiss was at 11 years old. But then my dear flat mate assured me this is nothing - she had her's at 9. FACT. (I am apalled - mine was at 15).
2. One of my first kisses was with a chap that had just drunk petrol. FACT.
3. My best kiss was from a gay gay. FACT.

Apparently, if you want to feel happier, science has proven that seeing nice (as opposed to complete porn) pictures of people kissing will lift you higher. Try bestkisses.com (see below - wow! And oh so cute!) I have to admit, there is a certain Lassie/Doris Day feeling and I feel oh so brighter! But I did have to avert my gaze from the pics with puppies.